Welcome To The City! Don’t Trip As You Get Off The Gravy Train.

Here is the scenario.  You are enjoying an afternoon gathering of family and friends in the galería of your family’s house. As you begin to catch the soft tropical breeze, someone out of the blue will say:  “¡Diaaaaache! En ningún otro país se vive así.  Mira lo bien que estamos nosotros en tranquilidad full, bebiéndonos una fría. A que tú no haces eso allá.”

The presence of Dominican-Yorks triggers Islanders to bash The City for no reason other than to prove that they are better than us.  The minute they learn that visitors from los países are present, a loghorrea of how wonderful the Island is immediately ensues.  Islanders have an obsessive and incessant need to make useless comparisons between The City and The Island. This zealous underscoring of Island life safeguards the real reason why Islanders berate our City, and that is the resentment they feel when all privileges cease to exist upon landing in NYC.

Islanders thrive on getting the so-called VIP treatment.  They have deluded themselves into believing that they are entitled to better service than anyone else, and if by golly they deem it as inferior than expected, they will either (1) be in a complete uproar and go on a very public and visible rant, or (2) engage in hard-core mueleo (see March 18) to demand the superb treatment considered as rightfully theirs.  (This kind of mueleo usually involves stating a prominent last name, or asserting they know a coronel or teniente).

During one of my many visits, someone told me how much he hates NYC because “¿Tú sabes lo que es eso? Que tratan a uno así tirao, a lo foque. ¡Jesú dios! Ni loco voy pa’ llá. ¿A buscar qué? Si aquí yo soy un rey.”  To what I responded, “Ah bueno… tú lo que quieres es que traten como los Vanderbilts sin serlo.”  Thus, what makes Islanders upset about The City is that there is no such thing as a cafecito while waiting for the next bank teller, or colarse to the front of the line because they know Don Fulano.

Now, I will not argue against the notion that there is privilege everywhere in the world. But in The City that never sleeps, every hard earned dollar counts, no matter what pocket it came from.  And while one cannot expect the red carpet treatment at a greasy spoon diner, rest assured that at  21 Club your libation will be shaken with the same verve as the one ordered by the bonus-touting suit from Goldman-Sachs sitting next to you, because your twenty-dollar bill has the same portrait of Jackson as hers.  Here, unless you are willing to shed three hundred dollars for a bottle at the club, your ass will be standing in line like the rest of us plebs, and when you think you deserve to colarte because you are sporting Diesel Jeans bought at Acropolis, wake up and smell the starbucks, so is everybody else.

As I close, I must take you back to the beginning of this entry, my fellow Yorkies.   If you find yourself  becoming increasingly infuriated about the unsolicited bashing of our City, I guarantee that upon saying ¡salud! and before the brain freeze from la fría kicks in,  someone a little bit more real (while struggling to turn on la planta o el inversor) will respond  “¿Tú sabes que atracaron al hijo de perensejo saliendo del súper a la hora de las doce y le robaron el celular?”

Justice has been served on the rocks.

20 responses to “Welcome To The City! Don’t Trip As You Get Off The Gravy Train.

  1. Imaginate “In A Mao State Of Mind” just doesn’t sound right.. Lets just leave it to the pros , sing it Billy!!


  2. Ma’am, please take a number. We don’t want to know your name now. Give it to the clerk when you get to the front of the line! : )

  3. Hahaha! Sooooo true. I was at metro once y un señor se tragó al pobre muchacho que atiende. I felt awful. They really do treat people over there as “the help”

  4. Nuala you are right on point! Customer service on The Island does not exist unless you are Don Fulanito. I was planning on renewing my vows and went to get info on decoration… I was completely ignored even when I was ready to shed about five grand!

    • Great review Deb. I saw the film of this book befroe and it’s great. Amazing story. I found Luke Jackson’s Book Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers Syndrome’ great also.We’ve often been advised to get a dog for WiiBoy, not neccessarily an assistance one but it is good fro calming them AND for teaching empathy helping them realise there’s more than them in the world!! We did get a dog but it was quite hyper and didn’t have that calming effect!xx Jazzy

    • Damn, I wish I could think of something smart like that!

  5. Hence why Dominicans loooooooove Miami?

  6. Tu ta pasa Nuala. Pero estas muy en lo cierto, por mas que me quiera sentir ofendida ya que vivo on The Island, lo que dices es verdad.

  7. LOL! This is too funny! Can’t wait to do a little observation on my trip. So Nuala, what kind of cocktails should one order at a bar in La Isla? I think you should write a mini “Yorkie survival guide” for vacations in the island.

  8. Where do I start….the truth is that most Islanders that fit the profile described above live in there own little perfect world. They name drop, use muleo to get what they want, and it might work well for them in that little world. But here in the City, you cross the line and try to skip in front of someone on a line then be prepared to be smacked with a dose of reality. They are so blinded by the way they are treated in the Island that they think that is the way it is everywhere. So for every one thing someone from the island might say that they can do there that we can’t do here, rest assured that there are 10 things we can do here that they can’t do there. Bartender, one more round please.

  9. Ok. Good that you feel that way. But in an islander state of mind they just act like that because they have to live with what they have and make the most out of it. Sad, but true, poor islanders have to live in an illusion. Instead of bashing the poor misogynistic tribesmen and women please try to focus on offering a more realistic approach to what life in the two places is. I don’t want to read ranting complaints from Nuala. It seems that you, my dear Nuala only know how to criticize one side as opposed to looking at the other side of the looking glass. Please give something about the littering dominican population of Washington Heights! or maybe you should compare and contrast our dear NYC socialites who are not that far from the socialites over there…. IDK, just food for thoughts. Have a good Day!

    • and i go on! maybe even try talking about uptown restaurants in NYC being owned by Masseratti and Bentley driving monkeys who make their fortunes by emulating a formula established long ago by the mafia. talk about how the Dominican Republic is only becoming worse with all the deported miscreant crime-fiends who acquired their know-how in the wonderful big city…. I will probably post some more angry comments today. keep it real Nuala!

  10. People class and manners doesn’t need a passport. There are people full os &^%T here and there..

  11. @Javi Jabib: Oh like the dominicans with bentleys and ferrari’s over there are buying them honestly.

  12. Pingback: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Ocean? | Nuala Knows

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