Mum’s The Word

No accomplishment compares to walking down 5th Avenue clutching handfuls of black, purple, striped, and brown bags full of merchandise that has been purchased at 80% off.  We know every sale, sample sale, final sale, clearance sale, and warehouse sale throughout the tri-state area. Most importantly, as we parade our new acquisitions to close friends, (shamelessly admitting what we paid) the approving winks and high-fives secure our title as the undefeated champs of fab finds. Indeed, if shopping were an Olympic sport, New Yorkers would bring home Gold every time.

Of course, leave it to Islanders to put a wet rag on our fun, with the  ever so opportune statement:  allá se consiguen las cosas baratíííísimas. While it is true that We enjoy a good sale, not all that we own has been purchased in Chinatown or at Marshall’s. I mean, don’t get me wrong.  I love deeply discounted stuff off the rack, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything we own, (all of it) costs five dollars. The absolute worst is traveling for hours on foot to find the perfect regalito or encargo for your relatives, and after shelling a couple of hundred dollars for something you think they might appreciate, it comes back to you as “Eso de seguro lo consiguió en especial.”

Islanders are first in line to admire your closet, while simultaneously qualifying your purchasing power. Every acquisition move has its respective comment.  If you are always buying on sale, you are a tacaña. Buy at designer discount stores, and expect “¿Y será falsificada esa cartera?” and when you think your are safe in the buying-retail-all-the-time zone,  brace yourself for the most obnoxious of  remarks: “¿Pero será verdad que ella gana tanto dinero para poder comprar esas cosas tan caras?”

It happens to the best of us. We can’t help the euphoria of seeing family and friends.  We get caught up in the moment, and before we know it, we start spilling all of our savvy shopper tips.  However, we fail to realize that our good intentions inevitably backfire.  I once made the mistake of taking an Islander to a sample sale, only to get “¡Ay no! Eso está muy tirado… hay que escarbar demasiado en ese reguero, y sabrá dios si esa ropa es auténtica.” Did I mention this was a Ralph Lauren Black Label sale?

“¡A ti ta’ bueno que te pase!” scolded my friend over brunch mimosas.

It is why from this time forth, every inquiry pertaining to places donde venden bueno, will prompt the response:  “Imagínate eso está lejíííísimo… en Pennsylvania.”

Devious? Hardly. It’s called learning my lesson. Besides… nothing compares to the pleasure I get from seeing Islanders sweat it out as They peruse the pristine racks of  glossy-shopping-bag department stores, only to conclude that “todo está muy bonito, pero no es ‘exactamente’ lo que ando buscando,” which you and I know quite well is code for This shit is way too expensive.

9 responses to “Mum’s The Word

  1. This is TOO funny!!!! And SO true!!! Well, no gifts for anyone…

  2. Hahaha! Que Risa. The best strategy is to “accidentally” leave the retail price or receipt on the gifts.

  3. There seems to be this eternal need to quantify the validity of our success by family and peers from the island (and even some “frenefamilies” here in the US). In their minds there is always some “catch” to ones success, achievement or just plane monetary spending power. There is this knee-jerk reaction that leads them to the same path of, “how can she/he (fill in the blank) when I can not.” I believe culturally, in some ways, we (Prcans/Dmncans) are bred with this intuitive rejection of others success, whether we choose to admit or not. I suppose it comes from being still a type of nouveau-immigrant community in which many success of said group are part blood sweat and tears and the other smidgen or heaping full of bullshit. And thusly are incapable of smelling or appreciating your success because their olfactory senses are tied up in the wafting aroma of their own poop.

    I know. I said poop.

  4. Diablo Nuala que cruel eres. Yo quisiera saber con que tipo se gente es que tu te juntas porque segun tu blog, tu pintas algo un poco irreal de los dominicanos. Mierquina!

  5. Well Said Nuala! but to tell you the truth, I could care less what the people in the island think about my shopping and what i’m wearing. At the End of the day they’re wearing stuff from LA SIRENA and i’m wearing FANTABULOUS BRAND NAME stuff i got on sale! who cares: I’m fabulous because this tiny little island of MANHATTAN is my home!

  6. Adamilka, no es nada irreal…los dominicanos son los primeros en criticar. Take it from someone that lived for 4 years of his adult life in the Capital and has seen it with his own eyes. I question you, when was the last time you went to DR (not a resort) and spent time in the Capital (not the country side). Dominicans don’t know what it is to have the choice or better said opportunity to buy what you want when you want it without having to take out a loan. In the Island they can only live with the extremes, or buy at la Sirena or buy at high end stores. And the minute they have an opportunity to come to the City they stock up with all the goods that we have at our fingertips just to say to their friends that they bought designer labels. El famoso figureo. So don’t call it cruel just because she is stating a fact, this is how the Islanders are point blank.

  7. Seniores no se olviden de Sema! Haha!

  8. Pingback: Suit Yourself « Nuala Knows

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