Monthly Archives: November 2010

Suit Yourself

The countdown to traveling to the Island for the holidays has officially begun. Once again I will go on my yearly pilgrimage to find out for myself if indeed the country ha cambiado muchíííííísimo (see 3/18/10).  There is much to do between now and my departure date. Buying gifts for those who truly appreciate it (see 5/18/10), getting a mani-pedi, waxing, applying a keratin treatment to combat the tropical humidity, and praying that I bump into the ex-b’s and queen bees (see 8/12/10) top the to-do list. As I rejoice thinking about seeing family and friends who have yet to flee the Island and begin to review my itinerary, it dawns on me that now is the time to carefully plan my outfits.

A conformist society necessitates garments that conform to specific events, venues, and social expectations.  Since I am quite a versatile gal, I have a panoply of friends whom I keep apart due to Island idiosyncrasies  (see 3/10/10) which mandate that all individuals conform to a mold (see 5/2/10).  For every trip, everything must be kept as compartmentalized as possible, with one common denominator: me.

For your consideration, I have put together a couple of touchstone outfits that represent some of the many events I have RSVP to thus far. In addition, like most websites do nowadays, I have included a list of recommendations should you identify yourself with any of the ensembles. 

Going To The Capital’s Country Club

The theme for this outing is “Scene to be Seen,” meaning that if it were possible to wear your outfit inside-out for people to see the label, trust me when I say Islanders would do so. Don’t worry. They will be quite forward in asking you flat-out the name brand of your clothing. If you wish to play along, you also do the ever so “subtle” and unsolicited, “son de la marca tal” when people pay you a compliment.

Silk tunic: Giangfranco Ferré * Bag: Desmo * Shoes: Marc Jacobs * Glasses: Lanvin

Every piece of this  outfit is made either in Italy or France. The purpose is not just to conform to the protocols stipulated by people who attend El Contri, but it also serves to piss them off by proudly showcasing the audacity Yorkies (such as myself) have to show up decked-out in the most prominent fashion labels.

People who like El Contri also like: Marocha, Fellini, Pepperoni, Jean Louis David, Casa Virginia, Acropolis, Aura, La Marina de La Romana, Blue Mall, Café Milano, Sophia’s, and UNIBE.

Having Beers in Zona Colonial

Way before La Zona was en vogue, I would hang out with artists and people from La UASD to talk about politics, current affairs, books, and world music. It is definitely the place for anti-establishment social outcasts whose sin is being so broke to even afford a car. Beware though that some El Contri patrons may appear surreptitiously as bohemian posers in places such as Hard Rock Café and Segafredo, also located in Zona Colonial. Real bohos hang at: Parada 57, Proud Mary’s, Atarazana 9, and Bobo’s.

Hand embroidered huipil: bought in Mexico in el mercado de San Ángel * Uniqlo “Jeggings” * Bag and sandals purchased at a going out of business sale in The Village. (see 5/18/10)

Broke Bohemians also like any colmado near La UASD, Cinemateca, La Feria del Libro, Casa Teatro (depending on who’s  performing).

Un Cafecito at Doña Fulana’s

This is where the detestable beige palette is a must. Visiting Doña Fulana is the time when you become your mom’s mascot as she shows you off in a make-your-mom-proud-moment. And why not? After all, these Doña Fulanas talked so much behind your back about how your mom was way too permissive, too liberal, too Americanized. Of course, all comments cease to continue when your mom se entera del escándalo that Doña Fulana’s daughter is either a lesbian, knocked-up out-of-wedlock, or worst of all: divorced.

Top: Elie Tahari * Capris: Banana Republic * Bag: Eliott Lucca * Sandals: Purchased at a cute boutique in Napa.

Doña Fulanas also like: Iglesia San Judas Tadeo, Funeraria Blandino, Supermercado Nacional, Panadería La Francesa, Casa Mora, and any place that sells velones perfumados, colchas, or mercería.

As you continue to tune in, I will be putting together a daily travelogue of my outings, occurrences, and of course, the comments so á propos for this blog. Until then, stay warm with some old-fashioned eggnog. ¡Salud!