Autumn is upon us. The turning of the leaves and long walks in Fort Tryon Park make me rejoice in the Fall collections, hot cider, Halloween, and of course the gift from our German brethren, Oktoberfest. Speaking of German, this edition covers the loanword Schadenfreude: to take pleasure in another person’s misfortunes.
I learned about Schadenfreude in a magazine article about how in small dosages, it is said to increase the production of our happy hormones, serotonin. There are also different levels of Schadenfreude. While it is fine to laugh at Beyoncé when she fell flat-faced in one her concerts or clap when Ruth Madoff was stripped of her assets, these examples of Schadenfreude are perceived as acceptable because according to social psychology, we are simply humanizing those who are idealized in society by bringing them down to the level of the common folk. However, taking pleasure in someone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness is a darker shade Schadenfreude, which makes you a son of a bitch devoid of empathy. In the age of social media I have had my healthy share of Schadenfreude. Seeing my Islander exes showcase their growing bellies and receding hairlines, while I look as though I haven’t aged a day (so I’ve been told), tickles my heart.
Schadenfreude made me think about my next topic of discussion, which involves (and brace yourselves boys) the Figueroa Agosto X-rated tapes. In previous postings, I have mentioned the baffling situation of Islander women semi-sleeping around, yet appearing to be “puritanical” for the benefit of their decency demanding boyfriends (See The “S” word ). And while Islander men tout the “innocence” and “faithfulness” of their girlfriends/wives, the blowing of the horn is happening elsewhere as exemplified in one excerpt where the covert sluttiness is enjoyed by el capo himself.
Figueroa Agosto: (Inaudible, but boy does the man talk!)
Unidentified Woman (in a very girlish and lipsy voice): Pa que tu vea como es el mundo yo no le hago eso, mano (I am assuming she means she doesn’t do certain dirty endeavors with her man)
Figueroa Agosto: Inaudible but he responds something like, ¿Es verdad?
Unidentified woman: Yo no se chupal… (she says as she uses Figueroa’s penis as a tongue depressor).
This episode of the secret life of cheating wives and girlfriends is a prime example that it is Islander men who are doing all of the swallowing cuando se tragan el cuento que la muchachas criadas en la Isla make better girlfriends because they are über decentes. When Figueroa Agosto’s video was leaked and the shit hit the fan, I couldn’t help to experience a little Schadenfreude in the name of all York girls who have been misjudged and dumped by Islander men for supposedly being über libertinas. This Oktoberfest I raise my carafe and toast to them. Prost!
Note: Due to the raw nature of the videos, all links leading to them will be immediately deleted from my blog, so don’t even try it!